cynthia1960: (Down with patriarchy)
[personal profile] cynthia1960
When I was checking email this morning, I saw a mention by Salon.com's Katie McDonough about yet another article telling college-educated women that they should snag their man while still in school otherwise they're doomed to spinsterhood. As I roll my eyes at this timeworn set of heterosexist patriarchy-sustaining platitudes that "Princeton Mom" trots out, you gentle readers may note that I have utterly failed to follow her advice. In the almost thirty-two years since I graduated, I have spent exactly one single month in the wedded state, and that milestone doesn't officially happen until this Sunday the 16th. Never let it be said that I rushed into this particular life-changing choice!

There was a running joke back in the day at my beloved alma mater that you're supposed to find your one true love there, take Theology of Marriage your senior year, and then approximately eighteen months after graduation, get married in Mission Santa Clara. Besides the fact that the Jesuit who was teaching that course ended up leaving the Society of Jesus a few years later on to get married (focusing on the lab section, not the lecture!), there was *no freaking way* I was going to replace needed chemistry labs with that course.

My beloved spousal unit noted to me over dinner this evening that it probably would be a very good thing for "Princeton Mom" never to run into yours truly in a dark alley, upon which I noted that if I had just one bullet and ran into both her and He Who Must Not Be Named, she would get off easy.

Now, I'm going to be charitable and say that probably there has been a lot of relationships featuring members of the SCU class of '82 that started off while we were in school that are still going strong. I will even note (gasp!) that my Evil College Boyfriend may actually have become a decent spouse for the someone else he left me for, but that I really don't have the time or spoons to find that tidbit out. All I know is that if I had taken her advice, and married that young man that I did share a lot of background in common, it would have been an utter disaster for me and I sure as hell would be living a much different life than I have right now (my cynical self says that I would be probably be either divorced or doing time for ridding the planet of him).

Le sigh.

Date: 2014-02-15 07:48 am (UTC)
mmegaera: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mmegaera
My parents used to tease my oldest sister that she was majoring in political science and minoring in boys (she did not, I note, date all that many of them, certainly not an number deserving of such comments). This was back in the sixties.

And when I was in college in the late 70s, I heard enough jokes about getting one's M.R.S. that I never wanted to hear another one.

I thought we were past this crap (excuse my French). We damned well ought to be.

(speaking as someone who married too young -- twice -- because I thought that was what I was supposed to do, and who has been happily single for the last 21 years)

Date: 2014-02-15 11:09 am (UTC)
wordweaverlynn: (Default)
From: [personal profile] wordweaverlynn
I thought we were past having to fight for birth control, too. They're trying to turn back the clock.

Date: 2014-02-16 08:19 am (UTC)
judith_s: (Default)
From: [personal profile] judith_s
Belated congrats on the wedding.

I still vividly remember being asked by an emeritus professor at a scholarship reception my freshman year whether I was at university to get my MRS degree. It's been 25 years, and just thinking about it still ticks me off. The only thing that saved him was that he was old enough to be my grandfather.

The fact that this trope, along with its favored companion about not giving away the milk because then they won't buy the cow, remains current is sad. Though WSJ is rather the paper of the crowd that was old and disapproving of those flighty young things when I was in diapers.

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